Parents who say that they are living in 21st century and are
also the people of 21st century [i.e. – open minded] are actually not of 21st
century if they actually sit and think about it.
When the matter comes to marriage about their daughter, and
when the daughter says that
“I have someone in my life and I want to marry that person
and he is not of same cast as we are”, they will start with their 17th
centuries crap dialogues like,
“We have a good reputation in the SAMAJ”
“We will not accept any other samaj’s guy in our SAMAJ"
“We will cut off relation with you if you marry that guy”
“We have done so much for you and you are showing us this
day”
“Our SAMAJ will not accept this and not even us”
“we care about our SAMAJS happiness and our reputation that
we have earned since so many years”, and so many other giant statements that
are totally stodgy.
Here is a story of a girl DINKU & MINKU her Love, who is
facing this problem these days.
The girl Dinku is from a XYZ family, after 23 years when her
parents started finding a perfect Guy for her marriage, she had to tell her
parents that “I am in love with someone and I want to marry that guy and will
not be happy with anyone else, and I want your blessings for this”.
she decided a Sunday will be better when both of her parents
are at home together so that she can talk to both of them, this is how she kept
her point in front of them –
She went in her parents room, said “I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
SOMETHING IMPORTANT“, they said “YES”
The thing i wanted to tell you is, some time back Minku had
proposed me for marriage, but i have not yet said yes to him, and also i have
not said no. because even i like him, and before saying yes to him i wanted you
to know about this and i wanted even you to accept him and i know and have full
confidence that he will keep me happy always.
Then her father said in this case, i will not be able to accept him, its not possible, i will never say yes for this, we won’t shout at you
not even force you, its your life, its
your decision, you have to think what you want, if you only want you to be
happy then you do everything on your own, i will never support you.. i will also not do like what others do, i
will not support you, i will not keep relation like other kept with thrs daughter’s
family.. i will do what i think is good.. my decision will be the same…
Then she asked him if
he was of our cast then u could have said yes na? he said yes, then he said but
i will not accept this because he is not in our cast,
this guy is not even
in our cast, community is a different question… so i will not accept it, i won’t be able to
accept it… still i am telling you if you think your happiness is more important
than others then you can do it on your own.
then she said, u
think if i will marry a guy which u show me? what will you do when i am not
happy with the guy you show me? will you be happy?
he said, thts what i
am telling you.. you will marry this guy and only u will be happy not others… i
will not accept this ever, and if your mom says yes then i will give everything
that i have to you and your mom and i will leave this place and then you do
whatever you want, i will make my own new world in some other city or country,
don’t ever even try to find me then, you talk to your mom, and see what she
says.. it’s no from me… now it all depends on your mom…
and her mother didn’t
want to say anything as she was also against this…
after 2 days she again went to them and started talking
she asked i had told you about Minku, and i am sure you both
must have discussed about it.
Her father said, YES.
She said ”SO WHAT YOU
HAVE DECIDED?”
Then her father started
i have already told u
that its not possible, im against it, and im never gonna say YES for this, i
have done so much MEHNAT not just to see this day, i have taken lots of pain
not for this day, i am not going to say YES..
You forget it, and if you want to do this, thn i already had told you,
you are free to do. i will not support you at all. i will not let my status
ruin like this.. i will never let my
SAMAJ say a word for me…
She told him, FATHER,
NOT LOOKING AT YOUR AND YOUR DAUGHTERS HAPPINESS YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANCE FOR
JUST A WORD?
He said, YES… I DONT
CARE ABOUT ANY THING ELSE, I CARE ABOUT MY AND MY SAMAJ’S HAPPINESS.. I WILL
NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE TO ENTER IN MY SAMAJ AND ALSO WONT SEND MY DAUGHTER TO
ANY OTHER SAMAJ.
She told him, WHAT IF I MARRY YOUR SAMAJ’S GUY AND I FACE ANY PROBLEM IN FUTURE,
YOU THINK YOUR SAMAJ IS GOING TO HELP ME?
He said, THIS IS ALL
YOUR BRAINS THING, NOTHING AS SUCH IS GOING TO HAPPEN, THOUSANS OF PEOPLE GET
MARRIED NOTHING HAPPEND TO THEM AND YOU THINK YOU WILL GET A PROBLEM.
She said, WHAT IF IT
HAPPENS TO ME?
He said, ITS ALL IN
YOUR BRAIN AND YOU ARE MAKING YOUR STORIES TO CONVINCE US.. YOU JUST FORGET IT…
ITS ALL UP TO YOU,
YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, FOR ME MY AND MY SAMAJ’S HAPPINESS IS EVERYONE’S
HAPPINESS, THT’S IT. I HAVE DONE LOTS OF MEHANT AND EARNED GOOD NAME AND
REPUTATION.
She said, WHAT WILL
YOU DO OF YOUR NAME WHN I WILL NOT BE HAPPY WITH A GUY THAT YOU WILL SHOW ME
?.. YOU WILL TELL ME THAT YOU STAY WITH THAT GUY BECAUSE OF MY GOOD REPUTATION?
BECAUSE OF MY GOOD NAME IN SAMAJ?
He said, WE WILL SEE
AT THAT TIME AND YES I WILL TELL YOU TO STAY THERE..
Then they also said
YOU TAKE YOUR STEP WHAT EVER YOU WANT, BUT REMEMBER THAT IF YOU GO WITH THAT
GUY, OUR SON IS GONNA SUFFER JUST BECAUSE OF YOU…
Then her father said,
IM A VERY ZIDDI PERSON… I WILL DIE BUT
NEVER SAY YES FOR THIS THING…
YOU DO WHT EVER YOU
WANT, WE WILL THINK THAT WE NEVER HAD
DAUGHTER, WE WILL THINK WE HAVE ONLY ONE SON, AND YOU ALSO FORGET THAT I WAS
YOUR FATHER…
he said , if you
decide to get married to a guy we show you , then first you make your mind, get
out of that guys thoughts, be firm that you will be happy with other guy and
not spoil his life, please dont spoil anyone else life, we will not be able to
be happy if that person curses us later on … instead of that you better go and
live happy the way you want.
no kids can be happy
if they hurt their parents and do anything against them, their curse never let
them be happy, im not saying i am cursing you, i am also not blessing you, i
wish you go and be happy i wish you get a crorepati husband and live happily,
but once you get married to that guy forget our world… and we will forget you,
dont even go and take
any one elses help i am not going to listen to any one, i am a very ziddi
person,
i have only one
answer, that is NO.
you go decide and do what ever you want.
Its been 5 months, and DINKU is still waiting for her
parents to say YES for her and Minku’s relation, she know that her parents had
been living with this attitude since so many years, and its not easy to change
a mind that has all this since 40 to 45 years in it, she is still fighting this
battle of her life with positive attitude,
She is not allowed to
meet her friends, because her parents thinks that she has done this because her
friends and she is spoiled because of them only.
Her parents don’t
talk to her much, only if its necessary then only she gets to talk to them,
otherwise its all silent whole day, she sits in her room and do nothing,
ALL THESE YEARS’
PARENTS DO EVERYTHING TO KEEP THEIR DAUGHTER HAPPY AND WHEN SHE ASKS FOR THE
REAL HAPPINESS FROM THEM, IT’S A BIG NO WITH THEM TO GIVE HER.
IF THESE PARENTS
ARE ACTUALLY 21ST CENTURY’S PARENTS, THEN WHY ARE THEY BEHAVING LIKE 17TH
CENTURY PARENTS?
* Why cant parents
think that he is the only person who is going to keep their daughter happy
always, because not just thr daughter but even he loves her.
* What difference does
it make if the guy has a different caste, he is a human being, don’t you think so?
* Why is she not free
to like or love someone and live happily with her partner?
* Why they want her to
kill her happiness for this dumb SAMAJ?
* Why her parents are
not thinking that this SAMAJ has a crap bag in the name of brain and a tongue
without born, that will keep saying anything for anyone…
* Why can’t her parents
think that if for their and SAMAJ’S happiness she will pretend to be happy but
still she will never be happy with anyone else except Minku...
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